The year is 2050 – you are in an internet cafe for the free wifi. In the corner of the room 2 young’uns are talking very loudly with the “vocabulary” of the times. After trying to ignore them for an hour, you give up and start trying to understand what they are saying. After failing to understand, you write down what you think “Gamer Boy” and “Slime Lord” are saying.

Gamer Boy:  I am so tijred of dez beck marks steeling in the slot the track when I am advancing. They’re RUINING my splits!

Slime Lord: Ja, jij now dat zij heeft absolutely none to do maar be slow en lang en absolute sticks.

Gamer Boy: Speaking of sticks wer je sliming out some of ihm nick style.

Slime Lord: Né, last tijm I tryed that I got limpa and snatched by the BDF Glick

Gamer Boy: Limpa and Snatched? By BDF? Lasdt I hoor zij were planeted like Kevin.

Slime Lord: Né gozer, zij hacked the gym. I was digaital when they reverse gramed me and stood all Buzzswoled. Next thing I now I was up daar with the rest of ihm.

[Slime Lord gets on the floor and puts his arms and legs out like handles. An unseen force grabs him by the handles and proceeds to clean and snatch him before dropping him back to the ground. He bounces a couple of times before Gamer Boy picks up the conversation.]

Gamer Boy: Kick dat mouth clapping, jij just slapped bij your frame data. Je sink, and not just the ship!

Slime Lord: Weet gozer, hen I was taklin mij Jostars they loved it when I sunk ihm like je bank.

Gamer Boy: Close shop dorkcus, je Jostar heeft de mind da Viola.

Slime Lord: Yé, en zij lijkt a beetije da vod or één twee.

Gamer Boy: Jeŕe such a spondler, gozer!

Slime Lord: Jouwr an entyre spondaic Nemo.

Gamer Boy: Né, I ben asesome en dactylic.

At this point Slime lord starts expanding and compressing like a spring, a ¨boy-yo-yo-ong¨ is heard every time he touches the ground. Gamer Boy starts flapping his wings and making what you think are pterodactyl noises. He manages to leave the ground and stay off it. They do this for a good 5 minutes before Slime Lord recollects himself and turns around. Using Blue Steel, Gamer (Boy?) suddenly becomes a girl.

Slime Lord: All des tijm, mij gozer was mij jostar.

Gamer Girl?: Yé, en I am in hospise on account of je being twee dumb te be asked. Sleep on soms bricks!

Slime Lord: Itś slime, één cuidua.

Gamer (Girl?) “logs out” and Slime Lord cries so much that he deflates.

Meanwhile, after trying to comprehend the young’uns you get nothing done and take so much mental damage that you decide that the free wifi isn’t worth it and that you should just pay the $2 an hour for the wifi at home. Kids these days!

This blog was due yesterday. I had notes for a Socratic seminar also due yesterday. Guess what dear reader, NEITHER OF THEM WERE DONE.

1. 1. In the case of this blog: I had a whole plan for a series I wanted to start. I was filled with joy at the idea of my magnificent blog. Even Ms. Lawlor (The angel she is) asked me two days ago if I’d be okay posting on a day I didn’t see her or intern at the Writing Center; I foolishly said: “I’ll get it done!”
      • I did not get home till 8. When I did, I had 3 different juggling acts that were all separately juggling 15 different things.

• • • In the case of my Socratic Seminar: I was excited to discuss this portion of the book. A Tale of Two Cities, as drawn out as it was in the beginning, Book 2 was AWESOME. Ms. Lawlor even brought it up two days ago in class that it was due at midnight the night before. This is because it wouldn’t make sense to write them after the seminar.

As you see by these two issues, I don’t have much time. Now, you’re asking yourself, “Why don’t you have enough time?” Well dear reader, I will briefly list my 3 main time-consumers as of now:

1. 1. ESU Shakespeare Competition: I had to memorize a monologue and sonnet written by William Shakespeare to perform yesterday. Then, by a miracle of God, I got second which means I have to prep for regionals (Which is next week). You’d think that this would be enough for an L&L grade… You’d be wrong.

• • • Dreamgirls: I’m doing a musical with a whole new group of people downtown and we’re doing Dreamgirls. These people are PROFESSIONAL, which means the expectations are higher.
    • Sankofa: SO MUCH TIME. But we’re making something good 🙂

All this to say, never stretch yourself out too thin. But if you do, get better at managing your time.

My heart goes out to my fellow procrastinators and over-doers. <3

P.S. Less than 5 minutes after posting this I received an email saying that one date conflicts with another date. I wear a smile to hide my trepidation. 🙂 🙂 🙂