The other day I was talking to my brother when he, for no reason at all said, “Rizzal me this gyattman.” This got us talking about how the new generation is ruined and how they are awful – the same thing that everybody says about the newer generations. At some point, I mentioned that I wished that I was the one that came up with the slang for the new generation because it would be funny. He then said that all I had to do was get popular and I probably could put a few words in the Gen Alpha dictionary. This had me feeling very sick and twisted. SO, here is my very devious, maybe a bit silly, and slightly evil plan to corrupt the vocabularies of the youths.

1.Become goated at Subway Surfers

2.Make a Tik-tok account and start posting semi-brainrot content

3.Branch out into streaming and become friends with whomever the big new streamer is

4.Get very rich and Very famous from the “content” I am producing

5.Use my fame (and money) to get into politics

6.Become president of the USA

7.Use the FBI and CIA to develop brain wave technology that lets me plant words into peoples vocabularies

8.Come up with the words that I want the children to say

9.Plant the slang into the most popular influences with large child audiences

10.Profit(?)

As you can see there is no way that this plan doesn’t work. Some might say that this is stupid, bad, hilarious, and inefficient, but I will have everybody know that this is the best way to do this. I have to become president and very rich and famous before I can make kids sound stupid, otherwise it doesn’t work. Now what am I going to make these kids say?

Throughout my life, I have had some quite interesting pets. It started out pretty tame with a cat, Daisy, and an aquarium of fish that we’ve had since before I was born. The first pet I actually do remember getting was our old dog, Charlotte, when I was 3 years old. After Daisy and Charlotte, we got our second cat, Devon. Not too long after Devon, my sister and I talked my parents into another cat, Virginia. My sister and I had a habit of convincing our parents to take us to the APL with the promise that we would only go to pet the animals and then leave (obviously, we were not good at staying true to our word, as it’s nearly impossible to leave there without taking an animal home with you).

Once my sister and I were content with the number of cats we had, we moved on to hamsters. First was Bubbles, then Bunny, then Peanut, and finally Fetty. I almost forgot about a gerbil that was in the mix at one point. Her name was Amy, and she was my sister’s class pet that she volunteered to take home over break.

Besides the abnormal amount of rodents, we had nothing too crazy, until we rescued 7 baby ducklings from the train station near our house. These were probably some of my favorite pets, but we only kept them for a brief period of time before letting them go at Green Lake.

Our next pets were two geckos that my sister and I brought back from our vacation to South Carolina. We named them Godzilla and Murray, after the lake we stayed at. They were great pets, except for the fact that I had to feed them live mealworms every day.

Last, but certainly not least, we had an exotic animal called a sugar glider. If you don’t know what that is, it’s basically a flying squirrel. My sister and I had been wanting one for years, and my dad finally got one for my sister for her birthday. Naturally, she named it E.T.