Kids These Days by Rafael Bonilha Van’t Hof

The year is 2050 – you are in an internet cafe for the free wifi. In the corner of the room 2 young’uns are talking very loudly with the “vocabulary” of the times. After trying to ignore them for an hour, you give up and start trying to understand what they are saying. After failing to understand, you write down what you think “Gamer Boy” and “Slime Lord” are saying.

Gamer Boy:  I am so tijred of dez beck marks steeling in the slot the track when I am advancing. They’re RUINING my splits!

Slime Lord: Ja, jij now dat zij heeft absolutely none to do maar be slow en lang en absolute sticks.

Gamer Boy: Speaking of sticks wer je sliming out some of ihm nick style.

Slime Lord: Né, last tijm I tryed that I got limpa and snatched by the BDF Glick

Gamer Boy: Limpa and Snatched? By BDF? Lasdt I hoor zij were planeted like Kevin.

Slime Lord: Né gozer, zij hacked the gym. I was digaital when they reverse gramed me and stood all Buzzswoled. Next thing I now I was up daar with the rest of ihm.

[Slime Lord gets on the floor and puts his arms and legs out like handles. An unseen force grabs him by the handles and proceeds to clean and snatch him before dropping him back to the ground. He bounces a couple of times before Gamer Boy picks up the conversation.]

Gamer Boy: Kick dat mouth clapping, jij just slapped bij your frame data. Je sink, and not just the ship!

Slime Lord: Weet gozer, hen I was taklin mij Jostars they loved it when I sunk ihm like je bank.

Gamer Boy: Close shop dorkcus, je Jostar heeft de mind da Viola.

Slime Lord: Yé, en zij lijkt a beetije da vod or één twee.

Gamer Boy: Jeŕe such a spondler, gozer!

Slime Lord: Jouwr an entyre spondaic Nemo.

Gamer Boy: Né, I ben asesome en dactylic.

At this point Slime lord starts expanding and compressing like a spring, a ¨boy-yo-yo-ong¨ is heard every time he touches the ground. Gamer Boy starts flapping his wings and making what you think are pterodactyl noises. He manages to leave the ground and stay off it. They do this for a good 5 minutes before Slime Lord recollects himself and turns around. Using Blue Steel, Gamer (Boy?) suddenly becomes a girl.

Slime Lord: All des tijm, mij gozer was mij jostar.

Gamer Girl?: Yé, en I am in hospise on account of je being twee dumb te be asked. Sleep on soms bricks!

Slime Lord: Itś slime, één cuidua.

Gamer (Girl?) “logs out” and Slime Lord cries so much that he deflates.

Meanwhile, after trying to comprehend the young’uns you get nothing done and take so much mental damage that you decide that the free wifi isn’t worth it and that you should just pay the $2 an hour for the wifi at home. Kids these days!

Free Time Is a Lie by Heath Thompson

Guy crying Meme#fy#fyp#meme | TikTok

 

This blog was due yesterday. I had notes for a Socratic seminar also due yesterday. Guess what dear reader, NEITHER OF THEM WERE DONE.

    1. In the case of this blog: I had a whole plan for a series I wanted to start. I was filled with joy at the idea of my magnificent blog. Even Ms. Lawlor (The angel she is) asked me two days ago if I’d be okay posting on a day I didn’t see her or intern at the Writing Center; I foolishly said: “I’ll get it done!”
      • I did not get home till 8. When I did, I had 3 different juggling acts that were all separately juggling 15 different things.
      • In the case of my Socratic Seminar: I was excited to discuss this portion of the book. A Tale of Two Cities, as drawn out as it was in the beginning, Book 2 was AWESOME. Ms. Lawlor even brought it up two days ago in class that it was due at midnight the night before. This is because it wouldn’t make sense to write them after the seminar.

As you see by these two issues, I don’t have much time. Now, you’re asking yourself, “Why don’t you have enough time?” Well dear reader, I will briefly list my 3 main time-consumers as of now:

    1. ESU Shakespeare Competition: I had to memorize a monologue and sonnet written by William Shakespeare to perform yesterday. Then, by a miracle of God, I got second which means I have to prep for regionals (Which is next week). You’d think that this would be enough for an L&L grade… You’d be wrong.
      • Dreamgirls: I’m doing a musical with a whole new group of people downtown and we’re doing Dreamgirls. These people are PROFESSIONAL, which means the expectations are higher.
      • Sankofa: SO MUCH TIME. But we’re making something good 🙂

All this to say, never stretch yourself out too thin. But if you do, get better at managing your time.

My heart goes out to my fellow procrastinators and over-doers. <3

P.S. Less than 5 minutes after posting this I received an email saying that one date conflicts with another date. I wear a smile to hide my trepidation. 🙂 🙂 🙂

January 31st, 3031 by Zara Troupe

January 31, 2024

 

January, the first month of the year. The very, very long month to start what might as well be a very long year. Would you care to have the events of this prolonged month recapped? 

We came back from winter break on the 4th and no one wanted to be back I’d bet. The 10th and 11th were those days with the fights which led to the 12th being a virtual learning day. Then of course MLK day was the 15th, and the 16th was a professional day. The 17th was the snow day, and we did go back to school on the 18th only to have the 19th off for a cold day. Last week was finally a normal week, but with it being the first normal school week in 6 whole weeks, everyone was just so done with school. We are now only halfway through this week, and it’s incredibly exhausting. 

Let me tell you, this might as well be the longest month to have ever monthed. Each week could’ve been its own semester, and by that logic I would have graduated last week. I deserve to be enjoying my summer right now, celebrating the fact that I no longer have to go through months like this one ever again. But I’m still a junior at Shaker Heights High School. 

On the bright side, it is finally the end of January. I can hope that February will be shorter, but it’s a leap year so there will literally be an extra day next month. I guess we’ll see through, maybe February will feel like so much time has passed my kids will be grown up and going off to college. 

Bottom Feeders by Cami Blaszak

All I had was hiking boots and bright red Chacos. We showed up at 7 and in Spain, that’s an hour before opening.

During my sophomore year, I lived in Spain for the second semester. Towards the end of the school year, ASB, (American Schools of Barcelona) did a hiking trip for each grade to hike 1/4th of the Camino.

But who cares about the beautiful views and amazing friends I made, what I will remember forever will be the paella I had.

It was one of our last nights on the hiking trip, we stayed in Santander in hostels and we had free range of the whole city. I was completely unaware of what attire to wear to dinner that night so I wore what I had available: white socks with red Chacos, a sweatshirt, and white jean shorts. Completely too casual. But after meeting up with my friends, I realized we were all in the same boat.

The boys had a plan, the owner of the hostel recommended a restaurant that we all decided to go to. But it was 30 30-minute walk across the tracks in a quiet rundown place in the city on a rainy foggy night. We trudged through the rain and awkwardly laughed when we had to take a rickety elevator down to be able to cross the train tracks. After we passed an adult intramural soccer game (or football as they call it 😉 ), we finally made it to the hole-in-the-wall restaurant, La Gruta de Jose, that the too-friendly hostel owner recommended. but we were too early…

Finally, after waiting in the square where the restaurant resided, an old man opened the door and let us in. Luckily we had a native Spanish speaker with us because the old man only spoke it. He eagerly let us in, excited to have young people in his traditional Spanish restaurant. He brought his wife to come see all of us hungry for a meal, she laughed and smiled at us and hurried away to prepare the best meal I’ve ever eaten. We all sat at a long dining room table, a dozen of us awaiting what my friend ordered in Spanish, I had no idea what was coming. Then it started, the first course: clams. Unbelievable, one of the best crustaceans I have ever eaten. Next freshly baked bread that the old man plopped directly on the table. No need for any spreads, not even a plate. But then, and oh wow my mouth is watering just thinking about it, the paella. Perfectly seasoned, perfectly baked shrimp and jamon. The crispy rice paired with the smooth sauce. Just wow, it took me 5 months to have this good of paella.

Don’t judge a restaurant by its hole-in-the-wall appearance, it may just be one of the best meals you’ll ever eat.

Snacks of 2023 by Chloe Khayat

I often get hyperfixated on certain foods and go through periods of two or three months eating the same snack every day. So now that 2023 is officially over, I thought I would share the ranking of my snack fixations of the year.

  1. Coming in first would have to be Goldfish. You can’t go wrong with Goldfish. I like the extreme cheddar flavor, but I avoid things that get my hands messy since I mostly snack when I’m on the go. I usually go with the classic cheddar, but if I’m feeling spontaneous, I’ll get rainbow. Overall, I would rate Goldfish an 8.5/10.
  2. Second, are the RITZ toasted chips in the original flavor. They are very salty, which I personally love. Overall, they make for a wonderful snack, and I would rate them a solid 8/10.
  3. In third place is Cheerios (honey nut, of course). This may be an unpopular opinion, but Cheerios are in my top three favorite cereals. They are a great classic, especially if I’m looking for something on the sweeter side. Overall, I would rate them an 8/10.
  4. In last place is Saltines. Saltines come in sleeves, which is super convenient to just grab on my way out the door. I would usually eat about half a sleeve throughout the day and save the rest to either share with the people at my lunch or eat the next day. I would rate these a 7.5/10 only because they can get a bit plain after awhile.

 

An Imaginary Prison by Praslin Arth

Her eyes fluttered open and she was again met with the familiar blue walls, poorly hung pictures, and a cluttered desk. Her sheets smelled the same as always and the carpet felt the same on her tired feet. That day, like every day, she got dressed and read books, played music, wrote stories, and re-watched the same DVDs that could barely be heard through the clunky old DVD player. Every day she repeated the same mundane tasks and once bored, she would sleep. A cycle of sleep, dreaming, and reality. Every day over and over again for weeks or months or years (She didn’t know time anymore). She could force herself awake for 10 hours or it could be 10 minutes, but at this point, she didn’t care how long it was. Every second awake she craved to be asleep “to sleep perchance to dream”, right? To dream was to escape. To live. To leave the boring blue walls, the drooping photos, and the repetitively messy desk. In dreams, she could dream of before. What she had instead of what she was stuck with. Even the rub, the nightmares were reminders of a life where she wasn’t stuck in her own head. Left in an imaginary prison where all she held onto was the old, cluttered boring bedroom from her teenage years. Even in her own mind, she wasn’t in control until she slept.

Huberman Lab by Nolwenn Chemali

I often think about perception and how everyone’s mind is programmed differently due to our environment or heredity. While listening to a Huberman Lab podcast episode, I realized the importance of self-defining concepts that are generally already defined for us.

What I mean by this is to create our own perception of what a concept means to us without societal pressure to better ourselves or self-scrutinize while also allowing change in our perception. Take the word balance for example. Balance used to mean something completely different to me than it does now. Perhaps it’s easy to get caught in a general worldview of what something means, wanting to fit in with new trends or relate to something unattainable. After years of self-progress, I’ve been able to redefine balance and what it means for me to fit the phase I’m at in my life. This doesn’t mean my perception of balance won’t continue to change. When that change comes again, I’ve learned to embrace it instead of fearing it. The beautiful thing about change is that it builds our character and strengthens us. I keep this in mind when I feel uncomfortable due to change because I know it’s for the better!

Professor Andrew Huberman is a neuroscientist who is based at Standford School of Medicine. His podcasts take immense brain power, so I recommend a good night’s sleep and maybe a dose of caffeine before listening, but his episodes are 100% worth the time and effort. He gives so much insight into why the human mind does the things it does and how it functions. If you also find mental health interesting, Huberman Lab is a must-listen.

 

 

 

 

Weekend Update By Addison Weingart

There was a long weekend recently, and instead of catching up on the variety of school work that is imminently due, or starting research on colleges like my counselor asked, I watched TV. And read a little bit. Dabbled in TikTok, sprinkled in some winter activities with friends. Hers a reflection of my long-weekend activities;

Swimming 4/10: I could write a small novel on my love-hate relationship with Swimming. When I wasn’t lounging around in bed doing nothing, I had practice. This sport takes up so much of my time and is the main reason I spend my free time exhausted. During the five-day weekend, I had practice 4 of those days, and a meet as well. The practices were hard, and at odd hours of the day, but I somehow kept going back. Mainly because of the pretty suits. I could write a small novel on my love-hate relationship with Swimming. Nevertheless, I try not to make it my priority because it has a tendency to take over one’s life.

TV (Psych)/Embroidery 8/10: I have been watching Psych, a comedy about a pair of friends who assist in police cases by pretending to be psychic. This weekend was a perfect opportunity to binge a season or two. Thankfully I did, because after 5 seasons of tormenting will-they-won’t-they, the two main romantic interests finally got together. This activity would be rated higher, but I knocked off a couple of points for the slow burn. While I watch TV, I usually embroider. Right now, I am working on a pair of pants I hope to put in the Scholastic Art Competition, but I don’t know if they are going to be finished by the due date. More reason to watch Psych!

I also watch SNL. Hence the title. (EDIT: ❤Jacob Elordi and Renee Rap ❤)

Clean 9/10: After doing nothing for so long, cleaning made me feel so productive. I put away Christmas decorations, did some laundry, all the household chores one might need. Also, I was home alone, so I had free rein to blast my cleaning music throughout the entire household. When I am home alone, pretending to be the owner is so exciting, the only downfall is its lonely. Which leads me to the best activity:

Miscellaneous Friendship Activities 10/10: This includes (but is not limited to), Ice-skating, going to see a play, and coffee. There is no question I am extroverted. My favorite part of the weekend was doing random activities with my friends. Even just the mundane chat-and-study felt so good. On Sunday, I got all dressed up and traveled to Play House Square to see Ms. Doubtfire. We nearly missed our Uber and had to book it in heels across the city streets, fluffy fur coats bouncing about. I felt like I was in The Great Gatsby. No matter what or where, the weekend was better when I spent it with friends.

Now I only have 24 hours to complete all my homework, but I think it was worth it.

I Want To Be a Journalism Major So I Might As Well Act Like It by Evelyn Rossman

As a senior immersed in the painful and stress-inducing world of college applications, it’s not surprising that this past semester has been a rather torturous one. Surrounded by the pressures of financial aid, writing supplements, standardized tests, and, oh yeah, trying to figure out my LIFE PURPOSE has led to a constant feeling of unmotivation and exhaustion. Coming into this new semester (and my last semester of high school yay!!), it has become increasingly difficult to motivate myself to do my work as the world of college becomes more real. Take this blog, for example, which may or may not have been hastily completed the night before the due date (shout out to our editor Addie you’re a real one). It was only recently that I truly accepted the affliction that has been plaguing me: senioritis.
Senioritis is a term that has been passed down through generations of stressed students. According to Merriam-Webster, it was first coined in 1907, and it is described as “an ebbing of motivation and effort by school seniors as evidenced by tardiness, absences, and lower grades”. Essentially, after three long years of high school, it’s difficult to see the point of high school anymore, especially with the sparkling promise of college on the horizon.
There are a couple of factors that contribute to senioritis, according to an article from the University of the People. The first three years of high school demand a high level of achievement for students who want to go to a competitive college. After years of stacking on AP classes, volunteering, and participating in every club known to man, it makes sense that seniors would be burned out from such a high level of productivity. Additionally, once a senior has committed to a specific university, it can seem as though high school doesn’t even matter anymore. Senioritis could also be a response to the anxiety that comes with the future. Most seniors have never been away from home before, and are now faced with questions about their majors and careers. It is understandable, then, that they would want to fry their brains with four consecutive hours of “Millionaire Matchmaker” rather than face the uncertain future.
But why is senioritis so important to address? I mean, if you’re a senior and already committed to a college, who cares if your grades and attendance slip a bit? Well, according to CollegeBoard, there is a significant impact if your grades slip during your senior year. Many colleges reserve the right to refuse admittance to a student if they see that the student’s grades are slipping. It doesn’t matter if you got that fancy acceptance letter on your application portal; the university can reverse its decision faster than you can say “existential crisis”. Additionally, failing grades and missing hours can jeopardize a student’s diploma if they’re not careful.
So, what is the cure for this mysterious affliction? Don’t worry, dear reader, I have some suggestions. Deadlines for both homework and applications can become overwhelming very quickly, which is why it’s important to have some sort of calendar or planner to record your deadlines- both short-term and long-term. You should also avoid obsessing over the admission process. I know that seems impossible, but I’ve found that attempting to ignore the stressful thoughts about college decisions instead of fueling the anxiety fire can be very helpful for day-to-day stress. Personally, a daily journaling session has been an effective way for me to put all of my existential worries on paper. Finally, try to enjoy being a senior as much as possible. Go to football games, do the school spirit weeks, and enjoy your senior privileges. Pretty soon we’ll be at the bottom of the food chain again, so we might as well take advantage of this while we can. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself breaks. I believe that all of us will make it to the finish line, even if we have to crawl on our hands and knees to get there.

Sources because I’m very professional:

“Senioritis.” College Board, counselors.collegeboard.org/college-application/senioritis.
“Senioritis Definition & Meaning.” Merriam-Webster, www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/senioritis.
“What Is Senioritis? Need-To-Know Causes And Cures.” University of the People, www.uopeople.edu/blog/what-is-senioritis/.

My favorite Horror/Thriller Movies by Meredith Stevenson

Horror has always been my favorite genre of movies. I love horror movies because of the thrill and adrenaline rush you receive when watching them. I crave being able to watch these intense experiences; especially in the comfort of my own home – and I love talking about and educating people on horror movies; so in this blog I will be giving you a full rundown of my favorite horror/thriller movies and why they’re my favorite! (These are not in order)

Number One: Smile

Smile is classified as a psychological supernatural horror movie. In this movie we follow a therapist named Rose. Rose witnesses a patient’s death and she begins to have terrifying experiences and delusions. Many horror movies made in the 2010’s will be associated with trauma metaphors the way the ‘80s are with slasher movies. Smile fits right in with its PTSD-induced kin. The difference here is that the monster is barely a metaphor at all: the demon, or evil spirit, or whatever it is—the movie is vague on this point—literally feeds on, and is spread by, trauma. The reason I love this movie is because is suspenseful, having a heady atmosphere of dread throughout. The suspense keeps you engaged in the movie at all times. Although the ending is a little underwhelming, the rest of the plot makes up for it. I heavily recommend this movie if you enjoy suspenseful movies.

 

Number Two: The Conjuring

The Conjuring is one of the most popular horror movies ever made. It is classified as a supernatural horror and is an amazing classic. The movie tells the terrifying true story of Ed and Lorraine Warren. Ed and Lorraine are world renowned paranormal investigators and they were called to help a family terrorized by a dark presence in a secluded farmhouse, where a supernatural presence had made itself known. Though the events that first take place are benign, things soon escalate in horrifying fashion, especially after the Warrens discover the house’s macabre history. Though its been several years since the movie was released, the quality is still there. The story immediately hooks you in, and although it takes time to unfold, it never gets dull. The Conjuring is genuinely terrifying – tapping into our biggest childhood fears. It also has the presence of strong willed and well-developed characters throughout the series.  I recommend this series if you’re into paranormal movies.

 

Number Three: Saw

Another amazing classic. I classify Saw as a slasher thriller movie, but it is also horror. The series revolves around the fictional serial killer John “Jigsaw” Kramer and his apprentices. Jigsaw tests his victims’ will to live by putting them through deadly “games” where they must inflict great physical pain upon themselves to survive. These games consists of traps that the victims are put in, but they are given an opportunity to survive if they beat the trap. Jigsaws selects only those individuals that, in his view, waste their lives in some way. Now you may be asking: “If there’s so many of these movies how can they be good?” – and I have an answer for you. With every new Jigsaw killer comes not only the possibility of unexpectedly enormous traps, but the possibility of tenuous flashbacks to prior films. The connecting of dots that no one knew existed is what separates Saw from most horror sagas: the franchise’s winding, looping lore has become its central facet. It’s an extremely unique movie and has a compelling plot.