The year is 2050 – you are in an internet cafe for the free wifi. In the corner of the room 2 young’uns are talking very loudly with the “vocabulary” of the times. After trying to ignore them for an hour, you give up and start trying to understand what they are saying. After failing to understand, you write down what you think “Gamer Boy” and “Slime Lord” are saying.
Gamer Boy: I am so tijred of dez beck marks steeling in the slot the track when I am advancing. They’re RUINING my splits!
Slime Lord: Ja, jij now dat zij heeft absolutely none to do maar be slow en lang en absolute sticks.
Gamer Boy: Speaking of sticks wer je sliming out some of ihm nick style.
Slime Lord: Né, last tijm I tryed that I got limpa and snatched by the BDF Glick
Gamer Boy: Limpa and Snatched? By BDF? Lasdt I hoor zij were planeted like Kevin.
Slime Lord: Né gozer, zij hacked the gym. I was digaital when they reverse gramed me and stood all Buzzswoled. Next thing I now I was up daar with the rest of ihm.
[Slime Lord gets on the floor and puts his arms and legs out like handles. An unseen force grabs him by the handles and proceeds to clean and snatch him before dropping him back to the ground. He bounces a couple of times before Gamer Boy picks up the conversation.]
Gamer Boy: Kick dat mouth clapping, jij just slapped bij your frame data. Je sink, and not just the ship!
Slime Lord: Weet gozer, hen I was taklin mij Jostars they loved it when I sunk ihm like je bank.
Gamer Boy: Close shop dorkcus, je Jostar heeft de mind da Viola.
Slime Lord: Yé, en zij lijkt a beetije da vod or één twee.
Gamer Boy: Jeŕe such a spondler, gozer!
Slime Lord: Jouwr an entyre spondaic Nemo.
Gamer Boy: Né, I ben asesome en dactylic.
At this point Slime lord starts expanding and compressing like a spring, a ¨boy-yo-yo-ong¨ is heard every time he touches the ground. Gamer Boy starts flapping his wings and making what you think are pterodactyl noises. He manages to leave the ground and stay off it. They do this for a good 5 minutes before Slime Lord recollects himself and turns around. Using Blue Steel, Gamer (Boy?) suddenly becomes a girl.
Slime Lord: All des tijm, mij gozer was mij jostar.
Gamer Girl?: Yé, en I am in hospise on account of je being twee dumb te be asked. Sleep on soms bricks!
Slime Lord: Itś slime, één cuidua.
Gamer (Girl?) “logs out” and Slime Lord cries so much that he deflates.
Meanwhile, after trying to comprehend the young’uns you get nothing done and take so much mental damage that you decide that the free wifi isn’t worth it and that you should just pay the $2 an hour for the wifi at home. Kids these days!