The other night, my friend and I, in desperate need of something to do, decided to go out to dinner. She ordered a bottle of cherry cola, and I ordered Sprite, although we considered 7-up. It was nice out, so we got a table near the street, in our old familiar place, she and I sitting face to face.

It was so nice because I really needed to catch up with her.  I told her all about my job, my office, and even my new boyfriend. Honestly, I feel like I have a new life. We had lost touch long ago, she lost some weight, but I didn’t know. It was nice to see her after so much time.

Seeing her got me thinking about days hanging out by the village stream. I wore Doc Marten boots, a puffer jacket, and tight blue jeans. We’d queue songs, and sing about FEIN FEIN. Cold drinks, hot lights, my sweet romantic teenage nights.

But while I was reminiscing, my friend noticed the two town celebrities: Brendan and Edna. Now let me tell you all about Brendan and Edna.

Brendan and Edna were the popular steadies and the Prom King and Queen. They would always ride around with Brendan’s Jeep top down and the radio on. No one looked any finer or was more of a hit at the local diner. Back then their relationship was the only thing we all wanted in life. I was sure Brendan and Edna would always survive.

A little bit after graduation, Brendan and Edna got engaged. We all thought they were crazy. Brendan was super lazy, and Edna couldn’t afford a married life. But they didn’t care, and we forgot about them for a while.

I kept up with them through Facebook. They got an apartment with a Depop carpet and a couple of paintings from Sears. They had a big waterbed that they bought with the bread they had saved for a couple years. But they started to fight when the money got tight, and really couldn’t communicate their fears. So they lived for a while in a very nice still, but it is always the same in the end.

Of course, they got a divorce and parted as close friends. Both moved back home, but they weren’t the same. Edna became the high school coach of cheerleaders, Brendan’s brow gained some creases, but they did their best to pick up their pieces. But I knew they would both get by.

It was nice to see them out for dinner after all that happened.  We finished off our bottles and said our goodbyes. As for Brendan and Edna, I can’t say more because I said it already.

This is inspired by Billy Joel’s hit song; Scenes from an Italian Restaurant. It is one of my favorite songs, go give it a listen: https://youtu.be/Hxx8IWIvKg0?si=7EaqFErg8yMSwzHT 

Some people like to believe that Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas is a Christmas movie. Those people are wrong, and allow me to explain why.

For starters, this is a stop-motion Tim Burton movie just like Corpse Bride, Frankenweenie, and the majority of James and the Giant Peach. All of those movies have the same dark color scheme and aesthetics. All of them are also easily Halloween movies. Furthermore, the movie was released in October of 1993 and the director, Henry Selick, says it’s a Halloween movie. The composer of the movie, Danny Elfman, also says that it’s a Halloween movie. Not to mention he wrote “This is Halloween” which is the most popular and recognizable sound on the movie’s soundtrack. During the song, we are taken through Halloween Town and introduced to its characters. Near the end of the song, we meet Jack Skellington, aka, the Pumpkin King. 

However, the king of Halloween has grown tired of his holiday and he eventually stumbles upon Christmas Town and begins plotting to celebrate Christmas. On Christmas Eve, Jack Skellington didn’t just fail to celebrate Christmas, but he nearly ruined it that year. The characters of Halloween Town made toys and Christmas decorations as if they were to celebrate Halloween. What they created scared the human world to the point where the army shot Jack out of the sky. Upon landing in a graveyard, Jack realizes how much he loves Halloween, and he rushes back to Halloween Town to fix the mistakes he’d made. After the movie is over and the end credits start rolling, you aren’t excited for Christmas, but you’re excited for Halloween. This is why The Nightmare Before Christmas is a Halloween movie.

        Since Tacitus and Suetonius, historians have agreed that Nero was bad. What monster would murder his mother, step-brother, and first two wives? Well, a regrettably real one. Nero, for all of his faults, had some qualities that may resonate with an open-minded modern audience. 

        Shaker may promise to be dedicated to the arts, but Nero was truly devout. Nero gained the common people’s trust and reverence through his love of the arts – and, eventually, this is how he lost their trust. He made guest appearances in plays and hung around artists, making him seem approachable and vox populi (for the people). Once he went insane, this love remained. Nero forced his subjects to listen to him sing, and there are accounts of these performances taking so long that children were born, and questionable claims that people committed suicide by jumping off of balconies to escape these hours-long recitals. Wouldn’t you rather play the fiddle than deal with a burning city? His love of the arts took precedence over Rome; honestly, I respect it. All teenage girls love a tortured artist. 

        We all yearn to embrace delusion. As Nero descended into madness, his delusion took over. Nero truly believed he was the next Apollo; this fact is cited against him by historians and general haters. But wouldn’t you rather believe you were the god of arts and poetry than embracing the reality of being an aging (okay, he was 30 when he died, but this is Ye Olden Times we’re talking about) creep with a neck beard who was becoming more unpopular by the minute?? He attacked people he thought were better than him and became a paranoid wreck towards the end of his reign, and I can’t say I blame him. I’d be pushed to this extreme by much less than he went through. One more “Why Us” supplemental and I just might get to that point.

        Nero had a hard upbringing. His father died when he was three, and his mom, Agrippina, was psychotic and power hungry. This woman was, in every sense of the word, insane. If I had more time, I’d discuss her more in depth, but for the sake of your attention span I’ll list some of her not-so-flattering deeds.

Agrippina the Younger, Killer of Many, Mother of Nero:

1. Poisoned her second husband when our boy Nero was 12
2. Poisoned Nero’s step-brother (seems to be a pattern)
3. Generally manipulated Nero until he killed her when she was 43 and he 21, trying to poison her (can’t say he didn’t have a sense of humor) but eventually just getting his guards to kill her and disguise it as suicide after 3 failed attempts (each one more outrageous than the last: poison, a collapsable boat, and a falling ceiling?)

It should be noted that there are pretty gross rumors about an…oedipal relationship between Nero and his mother. Just so you know. Basically, Nero had the odds stacked against him. Who am I to blame him for being messed up by his horrible childhood? 

        Of course, Nero’s quirks don’t negate his horrible, murderous deeds (like killing his pregnant wife and forcing a slave boy to dress up like her after, uh, emasculating him. I wasn’t kidding. This guy was pretty terrible). However, it is an exercise in objectiveness to reexamine the narrative we have been fed for hundreds of years. How would you react if you were in Nero’s position? Would you descend into madness, fall into an abyss of paranoia and delusion, or rise above the hands you were dealt and rule Rome justly? How would history treat you?

I moved to Shaker in 2010, when I was only three years old. Little is remembered about the four years I spent here; just random bits and pieces, like the ice cream always driving by my street, or the Halloween decorations hung up in Mrs. Jindra’s classroom during that time. 

I moved back to my home country, Chile, in 2014, where I spent nine years reacclimatizing myself to its different culture and “new-old” friends. In a sense, I had completely forgotten about Shaker, as it became a distant, golden childhood memory. I never imagined I would move back, and when the news was broken to me, I can confidently say I have never cried more. How could my parents expect me to leave my home, and return to a foreign country I  had no relationship with? Those four years were non-existent to me, and I made sure to reiterate that point many times in a futile attempt to convince my parents to stay. 

Times were changing though, and my life in Chile differed immensely from previous years. An unstable political situation and social unrest were becoming increasingly present, and my dad knew we needed to take the lifeline offered by University Hospitals. He accepted a new position there and established that dreaded deadline: June 16th, 2023. The day I would leave my friends, family, and beloved home.  I had to endure six months of relentless teasing from my friends, as they thought Ohio was weird. That day, I arrived in Cleveland OH, at eleven o’clock in the morning. 

I swore I would do my best not to accustom myself to these strange and unfamiliar people, but a year has passed and my resolve is not as strong as before. Little things have worked to warm me up to American life, such as meeting people I used to go to school with again or passing by coffee shops my parents used to take me to. I feel extremely conflicted because while I still miss my country dearly, I have created an entirely new life in Ohio. 

Halloween night is a holiday like no other. Transforming into your favorite character and stuffing your face full of sugar delicacies sounds like a dream come true for any young child. What could be better? When I was trick-or-treating, my game plan was simple: Get as much candy as possible! I would run from house to house with an empty pillowcase on a dark, windy October night, joyfully exclaiming the well-known phrase, “trick or treat!” At the end of the night I was, sore, sweaty, and out of breath. I would dump my candy on the dining-room table of a friend’s house, counting and sorting my candy. I would trade away my least favorites and comprise a stash with the best of the best. 

Now, retired from my trick-or-treating days, I am a seasoned veteran in the craft. With my experience, I know what some of the best candies are, and what candies you tend to throw out. There is an innumerous amount of candies you can get on Halloween night so I will only be highlighting the ones I remember best. Here are 10 candies you want to see and 10 you don’t. (These are not in order from best to worst.)

The Ones You Want to See:

1. Life Savers Gummies – These are like the holy grail to me. I don’t find these very often, but they’re the best. Try them if you haven’t had them before and you’ll understand. 
2. Reese’s Cups – Peanut butter and chocolate is an amazing combo. Can’t go wrong with this.
3. Kit Kat – The wafer adds a great crunch and they are fun to snap. 
4. Laffy Taffy – This may be an unpopular opinion but I don’t care. Arguably these are better than Airheads. 
5. Trolli Gummy Worms – The balance of sweet and sour is delightful and the cherry and lemon flavors are delicious. 
6. Albanese Gummi Bears – These are the better version of Haribo Gummies as there is a larger assortment of flavors and they don’t leave a weird aftertaste. Also, the flavor is more present. 
7. Sour Patch Kids – These are soft and chewy, but don’t get stuck to your teeth either. They are not overly sweet, and not pungantly sour. 
8. M&Ms – There are always about 15 in each packet, and the shell gives the chocolate a nice crunch. You can eat them one by one or savor them as well. 
9. Snickers – I would consider this the face of chocolate bars. The balance of the nougat, caramel, and peanuts is exquisite. 
10. Skittles – These are a classic you can never go wrong with. There’s a good amount in each package.

The Ones You Don’t Want to See:

1. Circus Peanuts – These are like a worse version of peeps. The marshmallow is always stale, and how it dissolves in your mouth is gross. 
2. Smarties – This is the type of candy you win for a prize in your class. It’s just circular hard pieces of sugar. Also, Sweetarts are the better variation of this candy.
3. Black Licorice – The aftertaste of this is awful, and the basic strawberry and cherry flavors easily surpass it.
4. Candy Corn – This tastes like straight corn syrup and sugar, and chewing on these is like gritting your teeth on the sand. 
5. Warheads Extreme – These are overly sour and make you pucker. It isn’t that great even when you get to the sweet bit. Having too many of these will hurt your tongue for a few days.
6. Whoppers – I would always have an abundance of these on Halloween. There are only three pieces in the package, and the chocolate was stale and left a bad aftertaste. 
7. Double Bubble Bubble Gum – There is this odd white powder substance on the gum, and it only lasts for five minutes.
8. York Peppermint Pattie – These tend to melt quickly and the mint filling in these tastes like toothpaste. Andes mints don’t taste like toothpaste though, and neither does mint chocolate chip ice cream.
9. Raisinets – This is self-explanatory. Chocolate-covered raisins are among the worst chocolate-covered candies or desserts. If you are passing these out, do better. 
10. Hot Tamales – Although the texture isn’t bad, a chewy cinnamon candy doesn’t seem right.

High school movies. Realistic? Maybe not. That doesn’t stop countless filmmakers from taking a stab at portraying what some call the most influential four years of your life. The complexities of teenage youth are difficult to capture, and everyone has different interpretations. Two well-known films in this genre, 10 Things I Hate About You and Dazed and Confused, offer drastically different approaches to the high school experience, and the contrast is interesting.

10 Things I Hate About You”(1999) is a classic rom-com. A modern adaptation of Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew, this movie explores the intricacies of teenage romance and rebellion in a wealthy high school in California. This movie is witty, cheesy, and everything you could want from a ’90s movie. It balances lighthearted, completely unrealistic moments with deeper emotional moments where characters question their friendships, relationships, and loyalty. Starring Heath Ledger, Julia Stiles, and Joseph Gordon Levitt, the contrast of characters and themes in this movie will entertain almost anyone. 

On the other hand, Dazed and Confused (1993), directed by Richard Linklater, offers a more subtle and realistic portrayal of high school life. Set in the 1970s on the last day of school, this movie follows several vastly different groups of students as they navigate friendships, social hierarchies, and the passage of time. The slower pace of this movie allows for more focus on the mundane, yet important aspects of adolescence. As you watch, you really feel like you’re in the same room as the characters, and you get to know them pretty personally. This movie almost leaves you with a bittersweet feeling, as you part ways with the memorable characters you’ve spent the past couple of hours with.

It’s interesting how both movies belong to the same category – high school movies – but their respective portrayals of these four key years are vastly different. “10 Things” leans into romantic comedy with a clear story arc, while the plot of Dazed and Confused wanders aimlessly, capturing the random and disorderly nature of high school life. One movie is a rollercoaster of emotional highs and lows, filled with scenes that would probably never happen in real life, while the other uses laid-back storytelling to focus on the uneventful, everyday aspects of teenage life. “10 Things” is unapologetically bold, while Dazed and Confused is more nuanced. Anyways, you get the point. Overall, both movies highlight common high school themes and experiences, making them timeless classics that will resonate with generations old and young.

A propaganda poster directed against Psychanalyse et Politique after they trademarked the name of their rival Feminist group, Mouvement de Libération des Femmes

In the 1970s in France, there was a burgeoning Feminist movement led primarily by the group Mouvement de Libération des Femmes (MLF). MLF and other major groups of the movement were organized loosely and primarily through local chapters. Along came the breakaway group Psychanalyse et Politique (PeP), with Maoist and Freudian influences, notably organized along much stricter lines than the decentralized MLF, with cult-like rituals at each meeting to match (including the forced individual, one-on-one, psychoanalysis of all new members). Now, PeP held the view, common among Feminist groups, that the origin of women’s oppression lies with the patriarchy. PeP took this a step further, however, and argued that, derived from that principle, it became true that any kind of political strategy deemed to be ‘masculine’ in character was worth attacking. Thus, the MLF, which advocated reform, became the target of PeP. The MLF became drawn into a long legal battle over a copyright dispute fabricated by PeP, leading to the MLF being forced to abandon its organizational framework, revealing its membership (through mandates of court appearance) and destabilizing the secrecy that had shielded it from infiltration and sabotage. Consequently, the main organ of French Feminism collapsed, and the movement overall became weakened to a point of no return. 

This historical narrative brings up a lot of questions—How can a political strategy be masculine? Not masculinist (sexist), but masculine? Of course, there’s an important extent to which the accusations of masculinity leveraged against the MLF were part of a rhetorical strategy; at the same time, the PeP aimed to debase the femininity of MLF members because of a political disagreement, and ultimately, thus, ultimately, tried to deny their right to political self-advocacy (PeP weaponized gender identity to eliminate political opposition in the same vein that patriarchal institutions have/do). This is exactly the kind of reason that critical-theorist, philosopher-extraordinaire, and Shaker Heights High School alum Judith Butler says that Feminism must have ‘no subject.’ If the Feminist project becomes exclusionary, they argue, then it falls victim to the trap of gender essentialism which poses categorical distinctions like “man” and “woman” into a field of critical significance in the first place.

The PeP episode, and subsequent American reactions to it, reflect Butler’s criticisms of trends in post-May 68 critical theory in general. Luce Irigray, for instance, argues that patriarchy operates through the exclusion of women in the economy of language (think speaker/non-speaker, à la Spivak). But this distinction between ontologically distinct roles in discourse reifies the notion of gender distinction it attempts to critique; Butler argues that the root of the problem must therefore be sought in the construction of gender categories, and not a specific patriarchal mechanism. This same kind of gender essentialist error in theorizing can be found in second-wave counter-Feminist Feminism (for lack of a better term) in the US, such as with Suzanna Diane Walters’ criticism of Queer Theory, as well as in the ideology of modern-day British TERFs (and for that matter, in the work of their intellectual predecessor, Valerie Solanas). Consequently, the PeP episode illustrates a historical pattern: gender essentialism has prevented progress for the Feminist movement, just as Butler argues.

Want to read more?

Anna Gurun’s 2015 thesis, “Second-Wave Feminist Approaches to Sexuality in Britain and France, c.1970-c.1983,” pp. 43-49

Claire Goldberg Moses: “Made in America: ‘French Feminism’ in Academia”

Lions Quarterback Jared Goff celebrating after their 47-9 win over the Dallas Cowboys on October 13th, 2024, Yahoo Sports 

This NFL season has already been full of surprises.  If you’ve been keeping up, you’ve probably seen the sheer domination of the Vikings and the Kansas City Chiefs.  Unfortunately, we’ve also been subject to watching the Browns struggle to keep up with their opponents week after week.  Cleveland has been so caught up watching the Browns fall apart every week, that most of us haven’t been able to appreciate the terrible, but beautiful sight that is the Dallas Cowboys.  

With a record of 3-3, the Cowboys are 3rd in their division with only one win over the Giants ‒ who were 6-11 last year.  Many fingers have pointed at their defense following the 47-9 loss against the Lions on Sunday in week 5.  It’s surprising to Dallas fans, as the Dallas defense has historically been extremely talented.  They were home to one of the greatest defensives of all time in the 1960s, and earned themselves the title “Doomsday Defense.”  Last year, they were even ranked 5th in the NFL regarding defensive talents.  However, recently they’ve dropped to 24th, barely edging out the 1-5 New England Patriots.  According to Fox Sports, other than 3rd down defense, the Cowboy’s defense has not performed in the top 50% of teams in any defensive category.  In the red zone and scoring defense, they’ve fallen to 30th.

That’s not to say that their offense has been successful, either.  According to ESPN’s quarterback power ranking, Dak Prescott has remained at the 25th spot, behind notable names such as Daniel Jones and a washed-up Trevor Lawrence.  Ceedee Lamb ‒ who was just given the highest-paying non-quarterback contract ‒ has been anything but dominant following his record-breaking season in 2023.

For fantasy owners like myself, their season has been tragic.  I have Ceedee Lamb on my team; his average point put-up of 15.4 points has been a horrible under performance.  On the other side of the ball, their defense has been putting up an average of 2.8 points, leaving them ranked 28th in the entire National Football League.

Nevertheless, the Cowboys’ struggle is a beautiful sight for many football fans in America.  Their constant boasting, morally questionable staff, and frankly obnoxious playstyle, have made it easy to root against in this day and age.  Like many others, I hope to continue to see their downfall this week and for the season’s duration.  

“Silence!”

Joining Paul Muad’Dib Atreides on his journey from lowly heir to the throne of a great galactic house to the emperor of the known universe, is one of enlightenment and incredibly rich and tense moments. While Dune takes place in the midst of a far flung future intergalactic empire, its themes tackle many, many, real life political, religious, and economic issues.

The Great Houses of the Landsraad, including those of the brave Atreides (Paul’s family) and the evil Harkonnens, who play as the antagonists throughout the first book and first two movies, make up the political backbone of the Imperium. Each house controls all aspects of life on a few worlds, known as fiefs. At the beginning of the story one house, House Corrino, controls the seat of the Emperor, and, by extension, the entire Imperium. Tying in these complex political relationships with the economic powerhouses of CHOAM (controlling all commerce and shipment) and the Spacing Guild (who have a monopoly on all travel throughout the Imperium, which is pretty important when you have to travel interstellar distances) creates a system that mirrors the complex network we see in our own world.

The Bene Gesserit are a not-necessarily-nefarious-but-pretty-nefarious religious organization that have been in place for generations. They are deeply intertwined with the politics of the Imperium and kind of run the show, which the author, Frank Herbert, uses to highlight the dangers of semi-theocratic governments. A certain branch of the Bene Gesserit, the Missionaria Protectiva, was charged with planting seeds of superstition and legend in primitive civilizations to utilize for control later on. One such legend was that of the Mahdi, on the planet known as Dune to the native population, the Fremen in who the legend was planted. I don’t want to say too much, but Mr. Atreides might end up being played as this Mahdi for control of the people in an act that propels his status far beyond anyone’s wildest imagination.

There is much more to learn about this universe, but I hope this very simplified overview of the Dune story is enough to encourage you to pick up the series and try it for yourself. If you love deep world building and science fiction you will adore these books!

   For as long as I can remember, I have been consuming eBooks, shows, and movies almost constantly, like the screen addict I am. Some of the first movies I fell in love with were the movies of the Harry Potter franchise; the writing, the costumes, the CGI, and, obviously, the acting, were spellbinding (pun intended). Professor McGonagall was always a favorite of mine. She was witty and smart as well as brave and powerful, essentially the whole package for ten-year-old me. I would later find that her actress was a star in several incredible movies and shows that would be staples in my house. One month ago, Dame Maggie Smith passed away peacefully in a hospital in England, and it seems there is no better time to celebrate her achievements and many, many incredible roles.

1. Harry Potter – Dame Maggie Smith plays the iconic Professor McGonagall in all eight films of Harry Potter. This is my favorite role of hers because, let’s be honest, my Harry Potter phase has never really ended and most likely never will. These are some of the most magical films to watch, so I won’t spoil it for you if you haven’t watched them. Trust me, she’s amazing in this franchise. 
2. Downton Abbey – This is the role that Smith credits with rocketing her to fame. The six-year and six-season show is a top rated T.V drama centered around an aristocratic family in the early twentieth century. The dame plays Violet Crawley, Dowager Countess of Grantham who features in all fifty-two episodes of the show. She was nominated for nine awards for her role in Downton Abbey and won six others. 
3. Death on the Nile (1978) – Maggie Smith plays Miss Bowers, the churlish servant to a wealthy, jewelry-addicted woman. She was nominated for a Bafta based on her performance in this Agatha Christie adaptation, one of the two Christie films she stars in. I personally love her in this; she’s one of the funniest characters in the movie. Highly recommend.

     Hopefully this convinced you to revisit this actress’s iconic films and shows. I, for one, will be marathoning Harry Potter this weekend (and only crying a little bit) if anyone would like to join me.