I’ve grown up with a variety of pets, ranging from hermit crabs and hamsters to simply cats and dogs. I’ve never lived a second of my life without a furry buddy, but after 17 years, I’ve experienced the deaths of a lot of these pets.  Fortunately, their deaths make me laugh, not cry. Here are a couple that I find most interesting:

Chewy the Gluttonous Hamster: Chewy was originally identified as a male. He lived with us for 2 weeks, until he turned into she and gave birth to 9 babies. Chewy loved these babies, loved her cage, and LOVED food, hence the name. She loved eating so much that she happened to eat 3 of her children. This sadly led to her demise. During a 2 week trip to France, Chewy was left to our neighbors and grew so fat that she got stuck behind her hamster wheel. Chewy could not get out from behind the hamster wheel. So Chewy starved and died behind said hamster wheel. RIP

Pete the Stinky Rabbit: Pete was and will be the chillest rabbit. He resided in my bathroom for a solid amount of time but we decided he would be best in our garage. Now don’t worry, Pete had heat to keep him warm during the cold Cleveland winters, and he could frolic in our backyard during the hot summer days. Sadly, Pete’s death was depressing, he started to seize and run into the walls while my sister was bawling, and all I wanted to do was go sledding. That winter, the ground was frozen solid, so the usual ritual of burying our dead pets had to be delayed. It was delayed 2.5 years. Pete’s dead body stayed in our freezer during this time and he awaited my sister’s return from college so he could be buried in the summer. His funeral was beautiful. I played Taps on my trumpet, and my sister made a slideshow of his life. RIP

Geronimo the Hunter: Now Geronimo is not dead, but he hunts. This cat is unable to live indoors for more than 24 hours. He constantly wants to go outside. This leads to copious amounts of animals he captures and brings into our house. Geronimo, more than once, brought a live bird into our house. And more than once, I had to try to capture it in a small shoe box. It is close to impossible to achieve. Not only does Geronimo like birds, but he loves rabbits. Let me preface that I am a lover of all animals, and seeing my cat eat a dead rabbit under my desk makes it hard to be one. I spent the whole night cleaning blood out of my carpet crying my eyes out. Geronimo, you are one of my favorite pets but all of these other animals did not deserve to die. RIP

All of these stories have happened, and I now can laugh because it’s been many years. I AM empathetic towards my pets and I DO hate the deaths of the pets I have loved but these stories have aged like fine wine making them very enjoyable to share.