People are Scary by Rafael Bonilha Van’t Hof

School is back, and so am I :). This epic, awesome, and not-at-all-awful event can only mean 1 thing: I have to re-become friends with all the people that I haven’t seen, heard, perceived, or thought about since leaving school last year. It’s not because they’re bad friends, it’s just because I am afraid of contacting people. Even worse still – all of the people I hung out with over the summer are in college now so I am not up to date with anybody in my class. Now you might be thinking, “Why don’t you just talk to them?, it shouldn’t be that hard.” To that, I say 2 things: 1) Ah 2) Some mu could have changed that could make any of my previous friendships invalid. For Example:

-The boys could have become men

-All my friends could have graduated a year early and left me here

-The Council has decided that I am not worthy of being part of the boys and revoked my membership

-They made up a language over the summer and didn’t teach me it

-Somebody developed uncontrollable laser-eyeinitis and will laser me very horribly on accident

-None of them sleep a single second of the summer and are still spamming buzzwords and not funny

-They became funnier than me

-They forgot me

-I get mistaken for Ari again

-All of my friends were abducted and replaced with their middle school versions (the worst ones)

-They never return

-They all got super into going to the gym and haven’t been inviting me to workouts 🙁

-They think that I am gross now and throw up as soon as they smell me

-I somehow wronged one of them and they have been plotting my downfall

-They start calling me “The Great Himbo/man-wife II of SHHS”

-I transfer a bad case of Stupidiotitis to them and they get stupid at me

-They all started families and work 9-5 and don’t have time to deal with my unemployed shenanigans

-They are socially distant from me because I have a terminal case of something

-They don’t like me anymore

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