I come to you today a broken man, hollow and empty, head empty, no thought. For you see I still have to write a blog, and it isn’t coming to me. For like the past week I have been trying to write anything at all for this blog but the words have not been coming to me or very bad. I am in the middle of a flop era and must inform you that I have no blog, it isn’t here. I know that you want a blog but I don’t have it, and here is why:
- Bad Brain
Over the last week or so, I have been trying to write a blog, but every time I have started putting anything down, my brain starts yelling at me. It tends to sound like “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH” or “Eeewww” or even “This is nasty and cringe and bad and stupid and I hate it.” If that isn’t happening my brain starts fogging, what I mean is that I lose the ability to come up with any ideas and looking for them leads gives me a headache. I want to write, but it is hard when my brain is screaming and fogging.
2. It is not 9 to 12 PM
I know this seems like a very stupid and bad excuse for not being able to write but trust me bro, these are the only times I can think good epic smart funny. I swear on a signed copy of the bible that is the time that I get all my best blog ideas and my brain yells at me the least. This is simply the optimal time for this and maybe it makes my writing “interesting” but that is something my editor can figure out (sorry Claire).
3. Video Games
I can absolutely control myself I swear, buuuuut video games just grab me by my brain and prevent me from writing. It is a little hard to write when I am smashing (joy con straps on). If video games didn’t exist this would be much easier. Maybe they should make games illegal, then I can get my blogs done.
4. Procrastination
I know this seems silly, but I can just write my blog later, maybe tomorrow, the day after, next month, it will get done… eventually. It will get done, I promise it will get done.
5. End of Year-itis/presenioritis
This has been a very tiring year for me. So much work and so little rest have left me crawling around the school just to get through the day. This is the most tired I have ever been. Also as a member of the oldest class still in the building I can feel the senioritis already setting in. This might seem very ridiculous as I haven’t even started applying to colleges but the thought alone has me drained. I am just getting a little taste of senioritis before it hits, I have a case of presenioritis. The fact that I still have to go to high school next year has me rolling in bed at night, crying sad little baby junior tears.
Given these very reasonable and valid excuses reasons, it is clear that I can’t write another blog this year as I am unable to produce just about anything on account of my attention span being worse than that of a dog and the constant bombardment of stimulus. I really wanted to write a blog, but I just couldn’t. Maybe next year I will be able to write again. So please return to the writing center next year when I have a very good, epic, cool, and maybe even smart blog next year.