I am a fan of making things silly, goofy, and maybe even a bit slanderous. As an enjoyer of these types of things I have always been plotting ways to make things sillier through bad plots that are never going to happen for one reason or another. One of these “incredible” plans I have recently come up with was to host a part that is an atrocity for every one involved, me included! Here’s the plan:
- Become friends with the silliest set of people I possibly can. I need to find people at the extreme end of everything, the most different people possible. I want to have friends that would literally never meet each other for one reason or another. I also don’t want to get involved in any friend groups because this is about individuals.
- Start hosting parties that are good and that people like. This seems counterintuitive to my plot for a bad party but this is very important because it gets people to trust me so that they never suspect I would be piloting my own downfall.
- Invite all my new extremely different friends to an exclusive party that is invite only. I need to be able to control the people coming so that I can make sure this is the silliest group of people possible and that not many people that regularly hang out come together.
- Send out a form to everyone coming for input on what they want. This is very important because with how absurd some of the characters coming to this “party” would be I could get some really interesting ideas for ways to ruin it. It is also a cover for anything stupid that I want to do to make the party worse. This gives me plausible deniability as nobody there should know what the other people are like and have no ground to say that I made these decisions.
- Have the most awkward party known to man: nobody knows anybody there except me and they all have to suffer as they are surrounded by a cast of people similar to smash.
- Lose all my social credibility and get shunned in the area for a long time. This seems like a bad outcome (and it probably is) but now I no longer have to talk to anybody because nobody wants to talk to me.
Now it might seem like there are a lot of problems involved with this plot, and that is because there are. The main issue is that I probably shouldn’t be sharing my torture plot with people that might be at this “party.” I never really planned to make this a reality because I simply cannot bring myself to start interactions with anybody. I have also only been to a party in my life so it isn’t the best idea for me to be hosting. It is just a funny little idea I had that could be a funny blog, and maybe a story some day :).
5 thoughts on “My Stupid Little Plot for a Horrible Party by Rafael Bonilha Van’t Hof”
this sounds so fun. you can send an invite to my email firstname.lastname@example.org. thanks in advance
I like how step 7 implies that the guests paid to go to your party. That makes everything funnier.
In 10 years when I’m a professional party clown and amateur alcoholic I’ll do my act at your parties for free.
you had me at “silly, goofy, and maybe even a bit slanderous”! awesome blog, rafael.
this sounds like an absolute rager. rushing in the fall? no, rafa’s party B-)