My Biggest Fears by Jaimee Martin

Among my six-person family, I am known to have many ‘biggest fears’, usually signified by a dramatic “…oh my god. That is my biggest fear.” Whenever I’m able to, I try to write them down in my Notes app so can ruminate over all of the simultaneously real and irrational anxieties caged in my brain. Some of my fears are intrusive thoughts disguised as fears and some of them are legitimate–I swear–but I’ve decided to share all of them with you. Maybe you’ll even relate to a few.

Happy reading : )


-being cut into a million pieces if i go near a sharp object, especially an electric blade

-being buried alive

-not getting my ib diploma

-drowning in a large body of water

-a spider crawling on my butt when i’m going pee

-being forced to star on “naked and afraid”

-the ocean at night because it seems like an endless, dark abyss

-my lips being permanently chapped

-a human trafficker hiding under my car and cutting my ankles

-actually liking maroon 5

-getting into a car accident on the freeway

-being told a really good secret and then i can’t keep it cuz i have a fat mouth

-arby’s, burger king, subway, panda express

-losing everything i love in a housefire

-having a receding hairline

-impaling my foot or toe

-developing a nut allergy

-spiders/bugs crawling all over me when i’m laying down

-getting accused of terrorism at the airport

-being told ‘no’ to something i really want

-my heart stopping in my sleep

-seeing my children go on “naked and afraid”

-impaling myself

-being arrested for something i didn’t do

-being taken away to the spring court forever

-that some of the people closest to me whom i love are figments of my imagination and everyone else goes along with it to keep me stable

-being accused of plagiarism

-only being able to watch nicolas cage movies

-not being able to get out of a ‘bury me in the sand’ situation (similar to being buried alive)

-throwing up on everyone

-being so sociopathic that no one can tell because i’m so manipulative i can’t be diagnosed but i’m actually dangerous

-penn rescinding their decision

-laughing at the officer if i got pulled over

-being stuck in sleep paralysis forever

-getting a foot cramp when i need to walk across a stage or somewhere important

-getting lice and having to shave all my hair off

-that i will be the only one to wake up in the matrix

-being reincarnated as a bug

-being drafted into the military and truly not being able to get out of it

-being naked and unable to get clothes

-dying from a virus

-being alive for the end of the world

-ew face blood ew

-not being able to get one of mr. juli’s songs out of my head

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