Today is a special day for a lot of seniors. Our decisions for Restrictive Early Action and Early Decision to almost all the Ivys and top institutions we applied to are coming out only hours from now. It’s a strange feeling that is hard to describe unless (or until for some students) you experience it for yourself, but I’m going to try my best to put it into words. Here is what waiting for my school to choose me or not choose me feels like:

1. I forget until I remember

It’s like a recurring thought that pops back into my head every few minutes, causing a wave of sickly adrenaline to race down my shoulders and body, that fades into emptiness after a few seconds. I don’t remember anything at all or I refocus on whatever I’m supposed to be doing in class, and then out of nowhere, it hits me again.

2. Checking the time to make sure it’s correct

What if it’s actually 8 p.m. and I just didn’t know it? I mean yes, I am at school at 1:30 in the afternoon, but it could all be a time warp and maybe my decision is waitin-

Umm….I got in.