This week before break has probably been one of my worst weeks of the school year so far. I’m pretty sure I had about a maximum of a one-hour break each day before 9 PM, roughly five to six hours of sleep a night, and constant impulses to nap. With schoolwork, practicing, and after-school activities, my days have been long and tiring thus far, and my overall state of mind and body has been in a constant state of exhaustion.
With this being said, I am looking forward to Sunday, my first official day in a while where nothing happens. Absolutely nothing is planned for this day, and I am beyond excited. Sunday also marks the first official day of Thanksgiving break, which will be a good time for me to get grounded again, and allow my mind to return to a state of content and awareness.
As I trudge through this week of hardships, I think a lot about my break next week. I ask myself: what am I thankful for? What do I wish I could have more of, and what do I hate to lose? To what do I owe my life?
Every time I ask myself, my answer is always time.
I long for the days when I can just jump into my bed at the first second of a break and lay there for ten, twenty, thirty, forty, minutes. I dream of when I could spare time to play just thirty minutes of frisbee with my dog, Pepper, or when I could make bookmarks with my younger sister, Sara. I think back to the little slots in my day when I could get lost in a book, captivated in its world away from my present one. I ponder over the times conversing with my friends late at night, joking about the time one of us ran into a door. I imagine.
I also think about how my state of mind affects others. I know that I can be grouchier when I’m tired, and I can close off easily. I also know that I can’t spend much time with my elementary sister, who wants to have fun and find innovative things to do. I know that I can’t go on runs with my dog, who wants the interaction and who thrives on the exercise. I realize that the amount of things I have to do and the amount of time I have are simply not sustainable in the long-run.
But I know that it will be over soon, and that bursts of activities like this will come every once in a while. I know that I am strong enough to get through it, and that I have people in my life who can help me. I also know that there are hundreds of my peers who are going through a similar situation, if not a harder one, than I am.
And ultimately, I am thankful that there is time in the world for me to do the things I love, and for me to have times like these where I just need to focus and get through it. I am thankful for what I can learn from harder circumstances like these because they teach me to be strong.