Overheard by Julia Schmitt-Palumbo

I’ve been keeping a few notes in my phone of things I’ve heard people say, be they friends or strangers. Here are my favorites and what I remember of the context:

  • “Oh shoot, I forgot to take the turkey out.” said by a woman sitting in front of me in the theater to watch Little Women. As the commercials played, she proceeded to call someone at home and ask them loudly to take said turkey out of the oven. I think they figured that one out.
  • “You just fed the crackhead cat crack.” said by someone in the hallways of school when that was a thing. I honestly don’t know what to make of this one.
  • “I’ve never met an old person who likes skittles.” said by someone in my math class. Interesting point because I don’t think I have either.
  • “Do you wanna know a secret? Does my breath smell bad?” said by a friend in a great aura of secrecy. Her breath smelled fine.
  • “I feel dead. But like someone pumped air into me and is forcing me to live.” uhh I don’t know about this one, man.
  • “I don’t wanna see the movie Cats.” said by a friend in casual conversation. She was tearing up as she said this.
  • “There are thousands of emotions going through my head: excitement, um… nervous…” said by a man on the show Man vs Bear about fighting a humongous bear while trapped inside a ball cage. That was the end of the list.

There are plenty more but these are my top school-appropriate quotes. People are weird and the things I overhear definitely help prove that. Thank god I have funny friends, I’m gonna live forever.

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