I am in control, at least that’s what I tell myself
I control these words,
I control the steadiness of my breath,
I control what I say, what I do,
And when I do it.
I control what I think, don’t I?
Or do you — the part of me that is not me,
The part I can’t control.
Breathe in, breathe out
I am in control.
They’re just busy, I say
No, they’re dead, you reply
And then I spiral and spiral
And it just won’t stop —
Breathe in, breathe out
I am in control.
I keep you safe, you tell me
All you do is hold me back
From everything, absolutely everything.
Breathe in, breathe out
I am in control.
You are gone, for now
I’m sure you’ll come back, though
Today is mine, and mine only
I am in control.