Jake’s Top Five Comedy Flicks

  1. The Spongebob Movie

 

This movie holds a special place in my heart. And, it’s timeless. I laugh no less now than I did when I was six years old. A tasteful blend of crude humor and physical comedy, this film exhibits excellent comedic timing and captivating graphics that will leave you satisfied and laughing for days afterward.

 

  1. Step-Brothers

 

Will Ferrell and John C. Reily demonstrate excellent comedic synergy in depicting the precarious relationship between two middle-aged men living at home with their parents. Director Adam McKay puts together a fast-paced, absurdist comedy that truly deserves its own category. Parental discretion is definitely advised.

 

  1. Nacho Libre

 

This is an offbeat comedy…definitely offbeat. Awkward silences are curated masterfully and interrupted frequently by Jack Black’s unmatched comedic instinct. Plus, his accent is hilarious, almost perfectly exaggerated for the genre.

 

  1. Bridesmaids

 

Kristen Wiig and Maya Rudolph are perhaps the most hilarious comedic duo in hollywood. This film takes full advantage of the talent at its disposal, featuring appearances from Ellie Kemper, Melissa McCarthy, and Rebel Wilson.

 

  1. Superbad

 

Judd Apatow has emerged as one of the premier comedy directors of our era, and Superbad may be the film that best showcases this. Featuring the likes of Jonah Hill, Michael Cera, Emma Stone, Bill Hader and Seth Rogen, this movie just may end up at the top of your list, too.

Math is Just a Social Construct by Bronwyn Warnock

 

1+1=2. sin x divided by cos x equals tan x. y=mx+b.

These equations may be important in your life, but they are not in mine. Well, with the exception of 1+1=2.

To put it plain and simple, math just sucks. I’ve never been particularly fond of math and have never been that good at it either. Right now, I’m sitting on my bed with my math homework staring back at me. I don’t really have a clue how to do it and the questions are haunting me. Instead of doing my math homework, I have honestly been thinking about how math is just made-up.

The numbers one, two, and three did not always exist. One plus one did not always equal two. 1+1 only started to equal 2 once the mathematicians of the world told us so.

Now, everyone can agree that numbers are practically made up. But at one point, words were made up too. People have been speaking languages for hundreds of thousands of years as communication is critical for survival. The ability to express oneself is engraved into human nature. Conflicts and compromises have been sprinkled throughout our history for as long as time can remember. Yet, one day, an unfortunate group sat down at a table. This table sat down and cultivated a monster. This monster was called Math. The luminous creature of Mathematics did not only take one day, it most likely took many years. Now for a comparison. Sometimes, when one does a math problem, the process to get to the answer can take an eternity. This is most likely because it took these so called mathematicians an eternity to create the problem set of numbers and figures.

While this is an over-exaggerated explanation of my opinions about math, the common principle and golden law still pertains. Math just sucks.

 

 

 

Shackles and Chains by Monet Bouie

Shackles and Chains

By: Monet Bouie

Dear my brothers and sisters

We need to make a change

I am tired of being held back

By these shackles and chains

 

Taking the name that suppressed us

Is used now to progress us

But is still used to address us

Are still our shackles and chains

 

The taste of disgust from the sight of my brothers

Who devalue, debase, and destroy one another

Calling women sluts and whores included

But when it comes to your mother those names are excluded

These are our shackles and chains

 

And my sisters who slander themselves by the dozen

Light against dark between sisters and cousins

Because lighter is brighter, no darker is best

I can’t tell anymore like we’ve made no progress

These are our shackles and chains

 

Dear my brothers and sisters

We need to make a change

I am tired of being held back

By our shackles and chains

You need to make a change

Make that change

 

So what are you going to do about it?

My love-hate relationship with award shows by Harlan Friedman Romell

About two weeks ago, the nominations for the 91st Academy Awards were revealed to everyone’s indifference (or at least mine). I’m a huge movie guy. Always have been, always will be, and therefore I’m the kind of person to get wrapped up in the Oscars. I make it a mission to see every Best Picture film, pick my own predictions for every award, and have a watch party with my friends on the fateful night.

That said, it is a complete waste of time.

Why do I care about awards?  Why do I care about the opinions of roughly 7000 mysterious people to decide which performance, screenplay, or film is objectively “the best?” There is no objective “best” when it comes to art. I often find myself shouting at the TV screen when the Academy makes a boneheaded pick; I still haven’t gotten over the Moonlight/La La Land controversy, and I probably never will.

That said, it is so much fun.

The Academy Awards are always an absolute train wreck, in the best possible way. I lament the fact that the ‘right movies’ never win awards, but it provides the ability for people to come together by mutually hating something. And I know everyone wishes that award ceremonies were 300% shorter and 1000% less painful, although I like that everyone is suffering through it together. It’s nice to develop a sense of community in the face of torturous occasions such as the Oscars.

I was going to talk about my own picks for the Oscars this year, but upon second thought I realized that it doesn’t matter. People are going to like what they like and dislike what they dislike. I enjoyed a lot of movies this year, some more than others, and I don’t need to validate my beliefs by forcing them onto the world. Live and let live, y’know?

That said, I will leave you with a few movies from last year that weren’t as popular as your Avengers: Infinity War or your Bohemian Rhapsody that I feel deserve a look.

Chef Flynn

The Endless

Sorry to Bother You

Suspiria

Tully

Or, if you haven’t already, just watch the 2010 classic Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Truly a magnificent cinematic experience.

Scheduling My Life by Tomasina DeLong

I am a junior in high school, preparing to schedule classes for my senior year. In my final year at Shaker, I will have more options than ever before. Do I continue with Spanish? Is taking physics more beneficial than taking psychology? Will colleges want to see me take a history class, even though I am not strong in history? Would I be a more desirable applicant if I focus my classes around a certain subject or should I try to be more well-rounded? What do people want?

I have a free slot in my schedule and I am trying to decide what to do with it. The more people I ask, the harder it is to make my decision because everyone adds new ideas that I had not thought of. I just need to realize that this decision is not life altering. I can drop out if it is too hard, or I could stick with it. Overall it will not change the trajectory of my life unless I let it. If I decided that my taking a class or not changes what I want to do in life, that is my decision that I made for myself.

I am caught up in trying to figure out what other people want rather than trying to figure out what I want. Senior year I can choose to relax a little bit, or I can choose to ramp things up. This is my last year of high school and I should be taking classes that challenge me, yet interest me as well. I can ask around and see what other people think, but ultimately it is my decision and only I can make it. As an especially indecisive person, this is a struggle for me.

This is MY schedule, MY college, MY future, and MY life, so why am I focused on what other people think about it? I need to take charge and realize that I am going to be the one living this life so all that matters is what I think about it.

Writer’s Block by Grace Meyer

Something that most people do with ease is harder for me. You guessed it, writing!

Wait, what?

Why are you in the writing center if you struggle in writing?

Before you go all out and start criticizing me to no end, let me explain.

Whenever I get out my computer and open a fresh blank page, I stare at the cursor disappearing and appearing again. I have some kind of assignment or essay to get done for school, but for some odd reason, my brain has frozen 

and refuses to generate any ideas! I tell myself to work on other homework in the meantime and come back later.

Distracting myself only works for an allotted amount of time before I am forced to look into the eyes of the truth standing before me: I have no idea where to begin.

This is the reason why I struggle to compose introductions and conclusions in all of my writing. I’m fine on the body paragraphs because once I have gotten the first one done it feels effortless. Also, I have significantly gotten better in giving advice on papers made by student writers. Because I have been trained in being an intern, it feels easy to help them express their thoughts and suggest strategies using big ideas and concepts instead of focusing on grammar and individual sentences.

I have a good idea how to begin the first and

 last paragraphs by using generalizations, and looking up synonyms to vary my vocabulary is always helpful. But whether I like it or not, I have a feeling writer’s block will stay at my side for the rest of my life.

Happiness Is… by Molly Spring

Happiness is trying something new

Happiness is the first snow of the winter

Happiness is time to myself

Happiness is the excitement of the last five minutes of a road trip

Happiness is holidays and traditions with my family

Happiness is laughing uncontrollably until i’m in tears

Happiness is the windows down in the summer with the music blasting

Happiness is working hard to get a good grade

Happiness is walking outside in the crisp fall air

Happiness is traveling around the world with my family and friends

Happiness is waking up to the smell of pancakes and bacon on Saturday mornings

Happiness is giving back to my community

Happiness is how I feel when I surround myself with loved ones

Happiness is dancing in the kitchen

Happiness is the pride I feel after a difficult workout

Happiness is pushing my boundaries and getting out of my comfort zone

Happiness is thinking back to good memories and reminiscing with friends

Happiness is appreciating all that I have in my life, and showing my gratitude to those around me

Happiness is accepting life’s challenges and finding ways to spin them into something positive

Happiness is something that everyone deserves