Study Finds Shaker Seniors Taken Aback By Audacity Of Teachers By Lily Roth

SHAKER HEIGHTS, OH — Comprehensive study recognizes a newfound discomfort of the seniors of Shaker Heights High School.  In addition to the stress from family and friends, local students are dumbfounded by the audacity of teachers.  The number of situations in which students are forced to think, work, or create — sometimes all three — is disgraceful.

“I swear, it’s like people expect me to work hard or something. Who do they think I am?” says senior Claire Jax.

Bravo, Claire.  We were all thinking it.  In every single class, teachers expect students to take responsibility for matters and analyze and interpret them, and perhaps even do something about them.  Some nerve they’ve got.  It’s hard enough to keep your eyes open in class, let alone read with them!

The daily request that students not only show up to class physically but also be mentally present is simply asking too much.  A new scientific study shows that stress can lead to colon cancer and tuberculosis.  It is safe to say these teachers are crossing a dangerous border.

“I’m sick and tired of adults telling me what I can and can’t do during class.  There are outlets on the wall for a reason, Mr. Young.  So, maybe think next time before telling me my Nintendo DS Lite doesn’t belong in the classroom,” says Jax.

Students are sick of it.  All these hot shot teachers say, “education is important,” “Homework is only here to help you,” “Hard work pays off,” BLAh, BLah, Blah.  It’s these same teachers that claim they are advocates for child safety and mental health.  Oh really?!

This is frankly outrageous. The next thing you know, teachers may be asking students to work hard outside of school! HA! Dreaming is a beautiful thing… but enough is enough.

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