A Room of My Own Creation by Abigail Beard


Image result for college apps“Do you even want to get in to college?”
Yes mom, I think, I’ve applied to SEVEN colleges! What do you MEAN “do I want to go to college?!”
My mom and I have been fighting for about a week. To me, it’s simple. I don’t want to go to a school that she wants me to apply to. She says that I should at least look at the amount of money they offer me before I turn them down. I think to myself that no matter how much money they offer me, I’m NOT GOING!
I feel like she’s controlling me! We’re talking about the next four years of my life! Does my choice not matter!

I’m swimming in my anger and my frustration when, in a second, everything stops; my mother says that my grandma hasn’t eaten in four days. I go from angry to sobered-I know how much her mother means to her. Grandma got pneumonia last year, and ended up in a nursing home. Ever since, she hadn’t been doing too well, but it’s never been this bad.

It’s amazing how one second, you can be lost and alone in a room of your own creation, and the next, you can find that the room that you thought you were alone in, wasn’t a room at all. I realized, at that moment, that my problems were pretty insignificant compared to the news about my grandma. My eyes had been opened: I now saw where I, and my college troubles, really sat in the tapestry of my life.

And so I sit quietly and say, okay, when my mom asks me again to submit the application documents to a school I don’t want to apply to. I appease her, because she’s tired.

Because at the end of the day, I still love her.

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